It's not that I don't want to leave the house, cos really I do tonight. But I feel like asking my friends to hang out is bugging them, and I don't want to do that, so I wait for them to ask me. And a lot of the time they are out with other friends anyway so I just chill at home. It's not that bad, but nights like tonight, where I'm home with just my little brother, and I'm bored of everything including tumblr, it sucks. I wanna be out, doing something.
Though the chances of that are shit, as it's snowed nearly 2 feet in the past two days and the snow plows only plow the main roads for the police around here. No one's out. So I'm listening to sappy old country songs, and Garth Brooks, and arguing with a guy I know on facebook with one of my friends. Team work! He fights with us about everything. It's mostly just for fun tho :). We're talking about his concave chest. It's gross. I've seen it.
Lately I've been thinking about trying to find an actual career, as I haven't even gone to college or anything and I'm 21 and it's probably time to move out of my dads house. But I really don't know what I want to do. I use to want to be a writer, but my creativity has gone waaaay down since I graduated high school, and I never was a very good writer anyway. I can get amazing ideas, but I can't get them to come out right on paper. I rush through things to get to the big important parts and it ends up a mess. Plus, I read other people's stuff and there's just no point, as loads of people want to be writers now and most of them are a lot better than I am.
So I dunno what to do. I like working with kids but I don't want to be a teacher, and my social anxiety issues definitely make it hard to even talk to people, let alone stand in front of a bunch of them. I dunno. Blah I don't even care right now. I'm in a bad mood cos I couldn't sleep till nearly 9 this morning and then slept all day. No joke I woke up at 4:45 and I feel like I wasted a whole day. I'm fixing my sleep schedule dammit.
I'm hoping my cousin comes down soon. Then she'll make sure I'm up at a decent time :) And I will get to see my goddaughter! I miss her. I don't get to see her much cos they live an hour north and my Jeep is a piece of crap and won't make it that far. She's getting so big now, she's nearly 17 months old. I want to see her more so she actually recognizes me when I do see her. That's us at her first birthday party in September :) Ahhhh she's too cute. And I miss my glasses. :/
Alrighty well, I feel like I've vented enough for today. I really hope the picture showed up. I'm shit at computers really. :)
Ok, well, bye for now! :D
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